The Devil Went Down...

No matter how depressed I get or riled with anxiety, the enemy has lost the war. He might win a battle here or there; I'm sure you too have lived to tell about being temporarily defeated on some occasion or another, but the war has been won. We don't know when or how Jesus will return to triumphantly lay claim to His followers, but we know He will. 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father's house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." (John 14:1-4 NIV) 

I have had a rough couple of weeks struggling with doubt and anxiety. The fear of the unknown future always turns me inside out and this has been a tough one. My best friend is deployed. No matter any struggles we have had, my husband has always, since we've been together, been right there with me through my personal internal battles. Between the lost connections, limited time and time difference, I have had to rely on outside sources to help me through this bout. 

As my pastor quoted a wise women he once knew, "He is a good devil." For certain, the enemy is good at his job. He knows just where to lie in waiting to ambush us. Right where to hit to be affective. I personally seem to be addicted to affirmation. On the surface it doesn't seem so bad; it makes me driven and "good" at what I aspire to. But leave myself open to the "father of lies" and my "strength" can also be my biggest downfall. Pride. 

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (Proverbs 11:2 NIV)

I am addicted to affirmation. I seek it out and without it I become something I do not know. Without being able to pour myself into the Army full time, I am having a hard time placing my identity. 

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

The great thing about investing in other people's spiritual lives is that when you're down, they can always recite your words right back to you. And well, if "I" said them, they must be true.  ;)

I was venting to my mom this week about what I'm struggling with and the most wonderful thing happened. My words of Gods affirmation that have breathed new life into her, came full circle and gave me hope for the future. My mom is no theologian, but in the end, truth is truth. The Bible does not lie and if we turn there, we will always find what we need. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

So too bad for you enemy. I might have lost a battle and believed your lies about my unworthiness for a moment, but not for long. 

"The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1 NIV)

Reflection Question: What lies are you believing? Ask God to open the eyes of your heart to His truth. 

I Mind

Listening to the fireworks the week before the 4^th of July has always been fun for me. Independence Day means fests, BBQs and time off from work! It’s summer and in my mind 4^th of July should be spent on a lake with something cold in your hand to drink.  The past couple years, especially since serving in Iraq, the 4^th of July has held a little more meaning for me. Our independence is not something to just celebrate with parties and friends, but to reflect on the cost to give and uphold that freedom.

This year especially, it reminds me of those enormous sacrifices.  Just after fireworks went on sale, I was talking to a church friend of mine at a birthday party. He didn’t look himself; so being me I couldn’t help but ask what was up with him. At the time he didn’t want to talk, but later during the party he opened up. Rick, who suffers from PTSD, was having a tougher time that usual sleeping due to the fireworks – and since the war tours he’s lucky to sleep much at night without the bangs. The exploding sounds bring on flashbacks, anxiety attacks and nightmares that would send you screaming out of the theater if it were a motion picture. Rick’s sacrifice is invisible to the naked eye, but to those of us who have the honor of calling him friend, we can see how real it is for him every single day. His mind is much like a minefield; he doesn’t always know what will set off a mine, but when it does, it’s hard to recover from.

This Independence Day I am celebrating one short. My dear husband is serving with the Army in support of OPERATION NEW DAWN (AKA OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM) and missing out on the freedoms he and I have sworn to defend. It is a daily struggle to be apart, to know he is missing out on his children’s lives and on enjoying time as a family. The physical struggles of being the only one to clean up the house, or make dinner or warm the bed are mere rain drops compared to the hurricane that wreaks havoc on my mind. My best friend isn’t here to comfort me when I’m having a lousy day or cheer with me when I something exciting happens. I cling to the few minutes we get to talk on the phone, and feel so empty again when we have to hang up. It’s like my glass is half empty—and I’m a glass is half full kind of girl!  

The battlefield of the mind is not new, as a matter of fact, it’s as old as time really. Even while God was literally walking with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, Eve was attacked in this ever important battleground, her mind. The enemy fed her half-truths and played on her fragile emotions and now we must all realize the consequences of her losing that fight.

It’s likely that you too are being attacked on the battle ground of your mind in some way. Whether you realize it or not, you hear lies, and half-truths that you need to actively combat. It’s not passive. This is not the place to say, “It’s all in God’s hands.” YES, we know how the story ends, God is victorious and Jesus returns to earth… but right now, in this firefight, this battle, this WAR we are called to serious Action!

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." (Eph 6:10-17)

Be, Put on, Stand, Struggle, Take up, Extinguish—these are ACTION Verbs!

If we don’t take action, the way God has called us to, we will lose the battle. The war is already won, but the battle is ours to take. God has given us the tools, the strength and the might, but we have to use them. They don’t use themselves. Just as Joshua had to lead the Israelites to take the Promised Land by force, God has our own promised land ready for us. We must stand up, endure the struggle, and take what is promised us.

For me that means when thoughts of despair, self-loathing or other negative thoughts come into my mind, I know that is my sinful nature or the devil feeding my battlefield with ammunition. My best bet is to put on my Heavenly Armor and fight back! Wield my sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God (aka: what my Bible says) and believe God, not the devil.

Reflection Question: Have you packed up your Sword of the Spirit? Or are you using your sword to defend your Promised Land from God?