Whine or Wine

There they are, at the front, calling my name. Opening the eyes of my heart, to what I have been up to lately, or maybe what I haven’t been up to lately. There is a flowing of thoughts. Usually tears pour out like a drink offering. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Rom 7:15) Most wouldn’t say I’m a “bad” person, but who are they anyway? It is like a video of my life that plays before me. Why do I do the things I do not wish to? I tell God all about these thoughts, not because he does not already know, for he knows all, but as a way to acknowledge my sins. I am repentant. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9)

And then, I take and eat and drink of the body and blood of Christ. I feel so unworthy. I grieve my sins and my lack of holiness… but then the most amazing part. It all fades away in the knowledge of total forgiveness. I try to ask for forgiveness again, but I am amazed when my Savior says ‘Lorén, I don’t know what you’re talking about, you are holy and blameless in my sight’ because he has truly forgiven and forgotten.

“But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22).

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more" (Isaiah 43:25).

"It is possible for the Lord to look at us without seeing our sins because when he forgave us, he removed our sins as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12).

And then, in awe and amazement, I turn to praise the Lord. His pure beauty and ability to love and forgive is so miraculous. My grief turns to worship and not my lips or my voice, but my heart sings out praise!

There is something so amazing about Holy Communion. You wouldn’t think that simple things like bread and juice could cause such an effect on your heart, but they do. Surely to goodness, it is not the actual elements doing the effecting I realize, but the effect is so amazing. If I could realize that I am forgiven and that I am renewed each day maybe I wouldn’t whine about the trivial things in my life so much. Can I partake in the glory of Holy Communion and die to myself each day, not just once a month?

Reflection Question: Are you whining or are you being renewed by the wine (blood of Christ)?